9/21/08

So there I was, sitting and having lunch with three other Marines, discussing the some of the cultural differences between our families and a traditional Iraq family. Our interpreter (who I will talk a lot more about later) was quietly, politely, sitting there listening, just taking in our conversation as we get to the part about multiple wives. (Yes, we were eating lunch, during Ramadan, in front of our Muslim interpreter, which is another topic I will hit on later....)

The sentence immediately following the sub-topic introduction went something like, "I can't imagine having more than one wife... I can hardly keep up with one wife, much less three or four." Now I don't remember which one of us said that part, and it really doesn't matter, but the conversation continued along those lines until we invited our interpreter into the conversation. He only has one wife and so we asked him for his thoughts on the topic. I gotta warn you, this guy is really deep, philosophically.

He starts off talking about our legal system and tells us that Americans have a strong system that defends our rights and that the people really depend on that system to protect them. In other parts of the world, such strong, fair systems don't exist, so people have to learn to protect themselves (he is discussing our foundational liberties, rights and freedoms at this point). He says that Americans don't need to have big families or tribal ties to survive. In the third world, people need to have many kids and multiple families in order to protect territory and add to their numbers.

Then he goes on to talk about women's rights and how when a man dies, the family matron is really without representation, again, because their nation doesn't have the strength to change cultural norms about the equality of women. Someone has to take care of that woman and her often young family. The legal systems have adjusted to allow a brother or uncle to marry that lady in order to provide for her, legally and financially, without public humiliation, even if he is already married. According to our interpreter, this is always done with the consent of the man's first wife. Then he smiled and added, can you imagine how life in the home would be if she objected?

Finally, he talked about our human-ness and said that we men are really all basically the same. We want to do the right thing and want to be upright, productive members of our society, we just don't all get to play by the same rules. He said that things would be different if all governments were strong and free of corruption (the Marines all smiled and looked at each other as if to mentally identify that our government was not without corruption). It is not a gluttony that pushes men of the Middle East to take more than one wife, as Hollywood would lead us to believe and in many cases, it is hardship that leads the men to take on that added responsibility.

What an interesting perspective. The more I listen the more ignorant I learn that I am.

Semper Fi,
m