The 36 Classical Stratagems of Ancient China
Strategy 1 - Deceive the sky to cross the ocean.
Strategy 2 - Surround Wei to rescue Zhao.
Strategy 3 - Borrow another's hand to kill. (Kill with a borrowed knife.)
Strategy 4 - Make your enemy work while you wait at leisure.
Strategy 5 - Use the opportunity of fire to rob others. (Loot a burning house).
Strategy 6 - Display in the east and attack in the west.
Strategy 7 - Create something from nothing.
Strategy 8 - Secretly utilize the Chen Chang passage. (Pretend to take one path while sneaking down the other.).
Strategy 9 - Watch the fires burning across the river.
Strategy 10 - Knife hidden under the smiling face.
Strategy 11 - Plum tree sacrifices for the peach tree.
Strategy 12 - Walk the sheep home, just because it is there. (Take the opportunity to pilfer a goat.)
Strategy 13 - Disturb the snake by hitting the grass.
Strategy 14 - Borrow another's body to return the soul. (Raise a corpse from the dead).
Strategy 15 - Entice the tiger to leave the mountain.
Strategy 16 - In order to capture, one must let loose.
Strategy 17 - Bait a piece of jade with a brick.
Strategy 18 - Defeat the enemy by capturing their chief.
Strategy 19 - Remove the firewood under the cooking pot.
Strategy 20 - Fish in troubled waters.
Strategy 21 - Slough off the cicada's shell. (False appearances mislead the enemy).
Strategy 22 - Shut the door to catch the thief.
Strategy 23 - Befriend a distant state while attacking a neighbor.
Strategy 24 - Obtain safe passage to conquer the Kingdom of Guo.
Strategy 25 - Replace the beams and pillars with rotten timber.
Strategy 26 - Point at the mulberry and curse the locust.
Strategy 27 - Pretend to be a pig in order to eat the tiger. (Play dumb.)
Strategy 28 - Cross the river and destroy the bridge.
Strategy 29 - Deck the tree with bogus blossoms.
Strategy 30 - Make the host and the quest exchange places.
Strategy 31 - The beauty trap. (The tender trap, use a woman to ensare a man.)
Strategy 32 - Empty city.
Strategy 33 - Let the enemy's own spy sow discord in the enemy camp. (Use double agents.)
Strategy 34 - Inflict injury on one's self to win the enemy's trust.
Strategy 35 - Chain together the enemy's ships.
Strategy 36 - Run away to fight another day. (Escape is the best policy.)
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
FEUDALISM!!!!
I saw this somewhere and had to jot it down!....
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows? Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Semper Fi,
m
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows? Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Semper Fi,
m
What do you do?
There is a story out there about a man who dated a mob bosses daughter.
As they were playing pool one day, the boss casually looked at the man and said, "if you break my daughter's heart, I'll kill ya." Of course the man took this very seriously and never intended to hurt the young lady he was courting.
As the relationship matured, the man found the young lady to be very high maintenance. He could not afford to continue to date her, much less marry her, so he decided to break it off. Now he was in a situation of having to possibly hurt the bosses daughter. What could he do to end a costly relationship and keep the boss from killing him?
He went to the boss and asked for help. He went to him and said, "Your daughter is too good for me. I am not able to provide her with the lifestyle she deserves and I need to let her go so she can be happy with someone who can provide better for her. What should I do?"
When the boss heard this, he understood and told him not to worry and that he would take care of everything.
Bad news does not get better with time. In fact, in most cases, it gets worse. When you get into a tough spot, take your issues to the boss and take them to Him first.
Semper Fi,
m
As they were playing pool one day, the boss casually looked at the man and said, "if you break my daughter's heart, I'll kill ya." Of course the man took this very seriously and never intended to hurt the young lady he was courting.
As the relationship matured, the man found the young lady to be very high maintenance. He could not afford to continue to date her, much less marry her, so he decided to break it off. Now he was in a situation of having to possibly hurt the bosses daughter. What could he do to end a costly relationship and keep the boss from killing him?
He went to the boss and asked for help. He went to him and said, "Your daughter is too good for me. I am not able to provide her with the lifestyle she deserves and I need to let her go so she can be happy with someone who can provide better for her. What should I do?"
When the boss heard this, he understood and told him not to worry and that he would take care of everything.
Bad news does not get better with time. In fact, in most cases, it gets worse. When you get into a tough spot, take your issues to the boss and take them to Him first.
Semper Fi,
m
Graduated!
That is it. I have finally graduated from the National Defense Intelligence College with my Masters Degree! WOOHOO!
Now the real learning begins. The more I learned the less I knew.
Now that that part of my life is behind me, you should see more of my postings and rantings on here.
Semper Fi!
m
Now the real learning begins. The more I learned the less I knew.
Now that that part of my life is behind me, you should see more of my postings and rantings on here.
Semper Fi!
m
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